you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Randomize
