i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
You can't motorboat a personality
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
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