I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
I purposely left my thong and accidentally left my ethics book, hairspray and most of my dignity.
Randomize
