I cockslap morals
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
So, I found out he was eating a jolly rancher while eating me out.. Hence the yeast infection.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
Felt like shit, jerked off, felt ten times better. Being a guy rules. It's like I got all the demons out in 5 minutes.
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
