Whod you bang
Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
So I purposely left a bunch of metal in my pockets so that the smokin hot TSA officer would give me a pat down. Airport security just got fun
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
When he identified himself as captain clitoris i knew my night was fucked.
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