wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
All I could think about while he was going down on me was that his moustache reminded me that I want to try something new with my pubic hair.
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Randomize
