If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
Maybe you should go over there and lead him on and reach down his pants like he's about to get some and yank his balls.
That's the best idea I've heard all day.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I should put together a new mom basket for her. It would have diapers, vodka, ambien, and tissues for when she cries about her wasted youth.
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
Randomize
