The brown eye won't let me do that either.
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
