is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
Yes, you can 69 in a fiat. But I think I have permanent nerve damage
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
walked into my room this morning clutching two empty bottles of sminoff to find my roommate's ultra conservative parents staring at my posters of naked men. fuck parents weekend.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Randomize