So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
Why do bread and butter chips remind me of eating out your mom?
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
