I'm pounding a vodka drink as we speak to make her interesting
we're chasing vodka with high fives
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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