Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
