It's a beautiful day for a hangover
It's just like the Real World with babies
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I can't tell if I miss summer or 5 times a day sex more.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
It's funny to me the only time that you clean up is when your weed delivery man is on the way.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
Randomize
