in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
At what point are you a chubby chaser or just desperate for sex?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Best part of failing a semester of college: not having to buy books next semester. I can drink to that
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
Tinder in Coventry is like browsing a gallery of mugshots from Azkaban
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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