are you still at the devil's house?
I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Randomize
