As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Let me just say....i'm sorry about setting your carpet on fire. I had no idea that the paper towel would burn that quickly.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
Randomize
