yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Was that not clear on Friday when I nearly deapthroated two ice cubes?
Houston, we have a squirter
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
i black out too much to be "responsible"
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Randomize
