Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
You're the only one to love me enough for me to admit the following: Rock-bottom sounds like sobbing to a Miley Cyrus song.
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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