She took her shirt off and was broader than Dwight Howard.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
