if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Somehow I magically turned down a threesome last night. On my birthday. You're a horrible wingman.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Here's my first problem: I'm drunk
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
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