all we need is a web designer
and a bunch of prostitutes
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Try not to bring up the fact that I woke up and couldn't find my pants... He might get the wrong idea.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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