We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
When you get up and look at yourself in the mirror, don't be alarmed. The doctor assured us last night that it looked way worse than it actually was and there won't be a scar when the stitches come out
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Your girlfriend agreed to a threesome, I saw dogs in a bar. It seems life is falling into place for us
Randomize
