I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
Fuck you, i'm all jacked up on bananas lets go somewhere
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
