I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Remember that gum I swallowed 3 days ago? I just threw it up.... whole.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
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