I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
So you think it's my fault? I didn't give you the 10 shots you took nor make you eat the brownies we made... btw, i found your engagement ring, it was in the last brownie you wouldn't let me have while dragging me to my room.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
Randomize
