I can only speak casual parseltoungue, im not bad though. just the general, "wheres the bathroom?" "open the chamber of secrets" that type of stuff
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
i doubt you are even in possession of a crowbar.
I suggest you not find out the hard way
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
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