Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
You have permanently scared my back with your nails. I would like to congratulate you on a job well done.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Randomize
