I'm in love with you.
huh?
Don't be nervous. I'm just saying - if you had a dick, I'd suck it.
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
i wish sherlock holmes were still around today... he'd be able to find my g-spot.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I told you not to have sex with her on my futon
I didnt dude, i swear!
either that or you were eating mayo, which was the second thing i told you not to do on my futon
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
There's a good chance a guy sucked off my right earring last night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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