I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
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