Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
I fell off the front porch last night. Actually.. I dove. I dove off the front porch.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Ok cool. Ill pick up liquor because, well let's be honest, we don't need an excuse anymore.
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
watched two friends get underages. one had a shirt on that said lets get wasted while the other said to the cop "i understand your just trying to do your job but that was dirty bro".
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
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