FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
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