just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
We named our party play list daddy issues
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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