are you so shy because you have an std?
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
Randomize
