Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I have officially had sex in every room on my floor. Don't say I'm not an amazing RA.
whose ass print is on the piano?
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
My penis definitely considers my Captain Cock costume a success
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