we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Tomorrow's lesson plan is going to be on hangovers and why drinking during the week is never a good idea. I hope my boss approves.
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