I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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