drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
Drunk is a universal language darling
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
