I think my fart just growled at me.
There needs to be a term for a female version of a rusty trombone
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
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