Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
Randomize
