the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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