i always forget guys have bellybuttons
Its like the long john silvers of colleges, I wouldnt even go there to use the bathroom
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Being at this bar with grandma is a real cockblocker
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Randomize
