there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
Just landed in Atlanta. Still drunk. I can't feel my face
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
