My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm pretty sure this all started when I found a vibrator in my mom's sock drawer and had my first orgasm when I was ten...
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
It isn't possible and the very mindfuck of that concept gives me a lady boner.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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