party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
You know when you get a stripper pays your bail. You got good wood.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
