shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
Dedication to a hook up: I had to recruit five people at the train station to help me buy a ticket from a kiosk and get on the right train in 15 minutes because I discovered that my car was stolen.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
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