I'm not ready for the Pike bikes to move back in to town it was wonderful seeing that sorority house empty all summer
... I'm KD
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
Dude you can't like a status about me getting hit by a car
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
You're lucky I'm tired or I'd take a pic of me mounting a reindeer yard decoration
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
