Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
I'm shivering and sweating at the same time. Thanks a lot St. Patrick.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Learned a valuable life lesson last night. It's titled "Tequila: Still A Bad Idea".
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
