What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Randomize
