Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
You take your time. Wallowing in last nights filth is the best way to get over a hangover
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
I know this shouldnt be a problem, but there are too many women hitting on me. I dont know what to do
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
Randomize
