I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
From the trajectory of the puke, I must have fallen off the top bunk while trying to vomit, due to the dented bucket, ruined carpet, and bruised dignity I now own.
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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