He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
He's drinking red wine in a margarita glass. He couldn't be more perfect for me.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
Tornado booty call.. dedication
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
Come to my pity party. It's being hosted in my basement. The theme is ambiguously sexual cuddling and wine.
He? As in you personified your dick?
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
